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Is it true I should wait 2 years for a kid?
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TOPIC: Is it true I should wait 2 years for a kid?

Is it true I should wait 2 years for a kid? 2 years, 12 months ago #29356

  • Babunski
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Hi,
I married with a guy who is 8 years apart, the fengshui guy told us that it's good to have a child this year. 6 month ago I got pregnant but miscarried, tried again but failed and I missed the window to have a kid this goat year. He told us that next monkey year wont be good for me while rooster is not compatible with my husband. However my husband is 40 years old now and 2 years from now means he's 42 and I'm 36.
Here's our details:
Me: DOB 5 October 1983 (precise time unknow but before 0500)
Husband: DOB 27 February 1975 (precise time unknown, around 0800)
For coordinates, we dont have it as we live overseas.
I used to have a monkey boyfriend (DOB 2 January 1981) and despite our long term relationship, it didnt end well and starting from then I tried to avoid monkeys.
If I insist to have a baby in next monkey year, how will it affect me? I understand that normally for bazi readings, birth year is not a sole factor - but does it contribute the most? Or others such as month, date, time influence the most? If let say I have it in monkey year but calculate everything else (maybe do c-section to do this) will it affect the outcome?
And one more thing - my husband and I seems to have bad luck lately starting from the miscarriage. Is it something to do with the bazi readings? if yes, what should we do? Thank you in advance.

Re: Is it true I should wait 2 years for a kid? 2 years, 12 months ago #29357

  • Babunski
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Oh and one more thing: wedding date was 10 September 2014. thank you in advance.

Re: Is it true I should wait 2 years for a kid? 2 years, 12 months ago #29366

  • sean.chan
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Hi Babunski,

Hope all is well. I'll be happy to see how I can help and address your questions. I'm pretty active in the 4 Pillars section of the forum.

I want to take a look at your chart, but I'll need you to provide me with some informations:
1) Where were you and your husband born? I'll need to adjust it to Solar Time. If your country is big, narrow it down to the city for me. I need to long the longitude of the place you were born.
2) Can you narrow down the range of the birth time to at least 1 hour or 2 hours max?
3) Where is the master you consulted from and where did you find him? Did he do a fengshui audit of your house? Or did he do a BaZi reading for you?

Also, take whatever the FengShui master said with a pinch of salt. As much as I believe BaZi and other arts can be accurate and have some truth to its laws, human will and karma still trumps everything else.

Let me have the information and I'll see how I can help. Meanwhile, do take good care and try to stay positive. =)

Sincerely,
Sean
Last Edit: 2 years, 12 months ago by sean.chan.

Re: Is it true I should wait 2 years for a kid? 2 years, 12 months ago #29368

  • Babunski
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hi Sean,
thanks for the reply.
1. We're born in Indonesia which is 1hr difference with Singapore.
2. I was born within range 3-5am, while my husband was born around 7.30-8.30am.
3. I found him through my brother in law, he consulted him for his business and it went good. But I dont know what method he's using; he did ask about my DOB etc however it seems he mainly use the birth year in his calculations.
please let me know should you need more details
thanks Sean!

Re: Is it true I should wait 2 years for a kid? 2 years, 12 months ago #29369

  • sean.chan
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Hi Babunski,

Thanks for the details! No need to mention the city anymore, the timing will fall between the 2 hour range I need.

Give me a bit of time and I'll give you my analysis by today and also clear some of your doubts and worries. =)

Sincerely,
Sean
Last Edit: 2 years, 12 months ago by sean.chan.

Re: Is it true I should wait 2 years for a kid? 2 years, 12 months ago #29370

  • Babunski
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Hi Sean,
Sorry I just realised that I didnt provide the information in details. So here you go:
1. I was born in Bandung while my husband was born in Surabaya (just realised that this worth to mention as it has time difference).
3. He's an Indonesian, he did fengshui audit to my house (face north) and he did mention to change the entrance door (which we did), move the kitchen (to face east when I cook) and close down the pool (at the east of the house). We did everything else than the pool because my husband insist to have it.
While the readings, to be honest I dont know what method he's using. He just seems to calculate everything inside his head and tell us what to do. But things that he said to us about our characters and the past seems to be true.
Thanks Sean.

sean.chan wrote:
Hi Babunski,

Hope all is well. I'll be happy to see how I can help and address your questions. I'm pretty active in the 4 Pillars section of the forum.

I want to take a look at your chart, but I'll need you to provide me with some informations:
1) Where were you and your husband born? I'll need to adjust it to Solar Time. If your country is big, narrow it down to the city for me. I need to long the longitude of the place you were born.
2) Can you narrow down the range of the birth time to at least 1 hour or 2 hours max?
3) Where is the master you consulted from and where did you find him? Did he do a fengshui audit of your house? Or did he do a BaZi reading for you?

Also, take whatever the FengShui master said with a pinch of salt. As much as I believe BaZi and other arts can be accurate and have some truth to its laws, human will and karma still trumps everything else.

Let me have the information and I'll see how I can help. Meanwhile, do take good care and try to stay positive. =)

Sincerely,
Sean

Re: Is it true I should wait 2 years for a kid? 2 years, 12 months ago #29372

  • sean.chan
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Hi Babunski,

I'll share some initial comments first so you don't have to wait too long, but feel free to follow-up with any questions you have here.

First of all, you and your husband have the best charts I've seen so far in this forum. You've already revealed that you have a pool in the house, so it's no doubt both of you come from an upper-class family and your husband is probably a business man. Just a few things I'll point out for the benefit of some of the readers here.

For your chart:
Direct Officer (正官), Direct Wealth (正财), are both there. It's an incredibly lucky chart especially when both are strong and Wealth gives birth to Officer. In your case, your Wealth is represented by Metal and Status/Career/Spouse by Water. Furthermore the Wealth Star in your chart Enhances the Spouse Star - you have the kind of chart that brings good luck to your husband, and he's really lucky to have you.

For your husband:
It's a beautiful chart as well. It can be classified enter a Focus Chart for Wood (曲直格) formed by the 寅卯辰三会木局 and his 甲 Wood Day Master - which is extremely rare. In the olden days people with such charts hold extremely high positions in government. Given his strong Indirect Wealth (偏财) on his Hour Pillar, as mentioned he is probably a very successful business man and I have a feeling he is very popular amongst the ladies since young since 偏财 represents women in his chart. As his chart does not have a mix of Direct and Indirect Wealth, he will certainly bring good fortune to his wife and be a faithful husband as well.

I'm really happy for the both of you. =)

With regards to your question on children, I'll speak from the perspective of BaZi and don't touch on FengShui.

You and your husband lacks Children stars in your chart. For you/women, your children stars will be represent by Earth since you belong to the Fire group, and for your husband/males it will be represented by Metal which he lacks. So the lack of affinity with children is certainly there. The fengshui master recommended a baby this year probably because the stems of your various zodiacs complement each other (卯未亥)。

Technically speaking, for children we usually focus on the female's chart, so I will put your husband's chart on hold for the question on children. You need to meet the period where Earth is very strong for the chances to bear a child to increase - that will come in 2018. The elements from 2014 to 2017 do not favour Earth, so you might find it a bit hard to get pregnant or to bear a child. 2018 will be a good year for you as there is a combination (三合火局) of the stems that give birth to Fire, and in return Earth. The miscarriage in 2014 is probably due to the Indirect Resource/偏印 for that year, which is that 'God' that 'robs' the Children stars in your chart (梟神夺食) which I think your fengshui master might have overlooked.

As for your husband, it's interesting because your charts seem to coincide with regards to the life decisions you want to make as a couple (having a child). Your husband has a fantastic Wood structure to his chart, but the thing is 2016 to 2017 are Metal years and we call it 触犯旺神. The Metal is going to violate the Wood in his chart, so I do expect some difficulties though I can't say for sure how it'll manifest. Just get him to be careful while driving, take care of his health and try not to do anything risky for those two years, especially next year as the 'violation' is stronger next year. 2018 is excluded because it is what we call a 'Tomb'/库 and is Earth in nature, plus it has some special rules that apply despite it being in the Metal season (autumn) that I won't touch on for simplicity's sake. His reason for the lack of affinity for a child will probably come from some other important even that he has to focus on.

Zodiac/Stems wise, Monkeys and Pigs don't mix. Roosters don't mix well with Rabbits. I've not lived long enough and don't have the statistical/survey data to advise how things will manifest if parent and child Zodiacs clash, but regardless, if Heavens chooses not to give you and your husband in the next two years, it'll be because there's a better timing so don't fret. You two are blessed, so trust that everything will fall into place. =)

Please don't worry too much. It's normal for all charts to have ups and downs. You and your husbands charts are really very beautiful and you two are extremely blessed and I hope what I said above doesn't trouble you too much.

What I would suggest is to rest well first and try to recover from the miscarriage incident and let it go first such that your emotions and mind are in a healthy state to bear a child, and if you can consult a Chinese sinsei to see if there's anything about your health you need to work on. A lack of Earth suggests weakness in kidneys and kidneys are important for the reproductive organs. As for your husband, try to avoid any risky sports, drive carefully and don't take any unnecessary risk in business for the next two yeas etc. Don't over think things! It'll be fine. =)

I hope the above helps. Let me know if you have any questions and I'll be happy to answer them.

Meanwhile, take good care and my blessings to you and your husband. =)

Sincerely,
Sean


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Last Edit: 2 years, 12 months ago by sean.chan.

Re: Is it true I should wait 2 years for a kid? 2 years, 12 months ago #29373

  • Babunski
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Dear Sean,
Thank you so much for your kind help and time to review our Bazi chart. I have a few questions as the following:
1. Given that our lacks of Children stars, does it mean it's difficult for us to conceive at all, or only during those period (2014-2017)?
2. It's weird that you told us about the difficulties during 2016-2017, because we already feel it even before you told us. Is there anything we should do to counter this? We tried to make some changes within the house as the fengshui master told us but it doesn't seem to work.
again, thank you so so much for taking the time to make such a thorough explanation for us, we're really appreciate it Sean.
rgds,
Y

Re: Is it true I should wait 2 years for a kid? 2 years, 12 months ago #29374

  • sean.chan
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Hi Babunski,

It's my pleasure really. =)

The lack of children stars mean a lack of affinity, but if the year and luck phases is right couples can still have a child. But when the child comes, it might signify that you two are two busy for the child as the child stars can also represent the bond in a way. So the upbringing might end up with the grandparents or a housekeeper.

Try not to be too shaken by the 2016 and 2017 prediction. From the chart it's quite evident that you and your husband are good people so I'm sure nothing too serious will happen. Heavens always protects the kind hearted. The chart usually comes before fengshui - fengshui can mitigate it but to fully prevent it one has to rely purely on wisdom and past karma. From my experience with the violation of strong elements in the chart, it usually manifests as accidents but it's not limited to it.

BaZi can't really tell the exact way of manifestation, just an overall picture. Try to take it easy for the next two years - no risky investments, no risky physical activities, surround yourself with good people and do some charity to distract yourself and make yourself happier. The chart is, in a way, a description of your inner being and character, and things don't happen arbitrarily, so the cause of any good or bad events always has a starting point that, most of the time, comes from the person him/herself. The calmer you are, the more you'll be able to see things clearly and the more you can avoid any mishaps. Even if bad things do happen, the faster you can accept it and bring your mind back to equilibrium, which also means the karmic debt has been repaid from a metaphysical perspective. The seeds and reasons for unpleasant events that happen could have already been sowed from some time back - could be a bad habit, met a bad business partner due to greed etc, so I'll usually tell people to accept it and move on. People with consistently bad charts and luck phases are usually those who can't change no matter what happens.

Try to meditate if you can and don't worry too much. You'll be fine. =)

Sincerely,
Sean
Last Edit: 2 years, 12 months ago by sean.chan.

Re: Is it true I should wait 2 years for a kid? 2 years, 12 months ago #29375

  • Babunski
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Thank you for the comforting words and everything Sean

Re: Is it true I should wait 2 years for a kid? 2 years, 12 months ago #29377

  • sean.chan
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Hi Babunski,

You're most welcome. There's no hurry for a child. Enjoy your newly-wed life and take care of your health meanwhile. In the event that something does happen (I hope nothing happens of course), you're in the right state of mind and physical condition to be there for your husband. It's all part of the plan and the reason why you'll bring good luck to your husband. =)

Feel free to get in touch anytime if you have any questions. =)

-Sean
Last Edit: 2 years, 12 months ago by sean.chan.

Re: Is it true I should wait 2 years for a kid? 2 years, 12 months ago #29390

  • Wind
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Hi Babunski, Hi Sean,

I read your correspondence (by the way, excellent work Sean) and I hope you will not mind if I join you.

Babunski, you are Kua 7 and East is your worst direction.

Perhaps this Fengshui consultant looked only Flying stars, it's hard to tell what the other was thinking.

But the kitchen is place where you spends a lot of time. Please, look at this:


Your best compass directions:

Success
North West

Health
South West

Love
North East

Personal Growth
West

Your Worst compass directions:

Unlucky
North

Five Ghost
South

Six Killings
South East

Total Loss
East

I think that's a not good place for the kitchen.

This is feng shui, Sean made very much in BaZi, I just added one observation.
Last Edit: 2 years, 12 months ago by Wind. Reason: wrong word

Re: Is it true I should wait 2 years for a kid? 2 years, 12 months ago #29392

  • Babunski
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Hi Wind,

Thanks so much for giving some feedback from fengshui perspective. As much as I'm surprised to know that, I think any fengshui consultant is just human in the end. Anyways, for the kitchen, do you think if we move it back it will be good for my husband as well?
Aside from the miscarriage it seems that he's the one who's facing problems with his business lately.
Also, I remember when building a small table in the kitchen (to put the stove so I can cook facing east) he put a "cage" around the table - does it make a difference?

thank you so much in advance.

Re: Is it true I should wait 2 years for a kid? 2 years, 12 months ago #29394

  • Wind
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Hi Babunski,

East for Kua 7: This energy can cause poor finances and unproductive career. Persons under this influence can experience difficulties in every endeavor. It can cause depression, mental illness, major accidents, business failures, corruption, major illnesses, serious relationship problems and suicidal feelings.

I really do not know what he means, logic tells me that he is symbolically "fenced" the area (perhaps because this year in the east need to avoid the fire elements) but, in any case, you looking at your unfavorable direction and spend time there and it is not good .

Where previously there your kitchen?

Otherwise, you need metal Wu Lou and need Metal and Water on the East.
Last Edit: 2 years, 12 months ago by Wind.

Re: Is it true I should wait 2 years for a kid? 2 years, 11 months ago #29435

  • sean.chan
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Hi Wind,

Just thought I might add. Usually for fengshui considerations, I think the master puts priority for the breadwinner of the house. So the dimensions could have been positions to favour the husband instead of the wife.

I've never counter-checked if he has done it to favour Babunski's husband, but thought I'd bring this point up in any case.

Sincerely,
Sean

Re: Is it true I should wait 2 years for a kid? 2 years, 11 months ago #29437

  • Wind
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Hi sean.chan,

That's true, is usually all should adapt to the breadwinner, especially in the bedroom. But there have not yet arrived.

The fact is that she was the one who cooking and looking to the East all the time. I would like to place there a lot of metal and water., Just to be sure, with husband or wihout husband.

Energy of East this year need water and metal and does not love a fire.
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