Hello all.

I’m a beginner, please bear with me. I shall begin by first stating the reasons for my doubts. First, my partner and I both came from a broken family, with both our fathers cheating on our mothers. Secondly, as a woman that has witnessed so many infidelities in relationships around me and have experienced infidelity, I’m naturally cautious. And disheartened.

My current relationship is in the 4th year. It is my best relationship, I do feel like I’m being loved, supported, respected and well taken care of. I do the same to him. We laugh a lot in our relationships, there’s hardly any argument. But for the past 2 years I’ve been worried of him straying, or might stray. So far nothing has happened (to my knowledge), and I don’t really dare to ask for fear of knowing the answer.


Mine, b.o.d 16th March 1985, 12.30pm (Heavenly stem in brackets)
Hour: Yang Metal (Yang Fire Horse)
Day: Yang Wood (Yang Wood Tiger)
Month: Yang Earth (Yang Wood Tiger)
Year: Yin Wood (Yin Earth Ox)


His, b.o.d 30th Dec 1976, 8.30pm (Heavenly stem in brackets)
Hour: Yang Earth (Yang Earth Dog)
Day: Yang Fire (Yang Earth Dragon)
Month: Yang Metal (Yang Water Rat)
Year: Yang Fire (Yang Earth Dragon)

He has no Yin according to this...is this bad?

Another thing is something that is not concerning our relationship. Based on astrological weight, mine is favourable (4, Liang) but his is not (3 Liang, 9 Chin). Throughout life he has been quite unlucky, I think it's a bit unfair because he is such a hardworker and always ready to help people. This results in him sometimes feeling morose.

Since we have been together, he have jokingly said to friends that I am his lucky charm because his living condition and career has indeed improved. I'm not sure if I am his lucky charm, I think it is more the fact that he is growing more mature and settled down as he gets older but it is an idea . So, since he is always supportive and helpful to me and if I can I would like to help support him in return.

If anyone is willing or interested to give advice/teaching on either ground, I’d be so thankful.

Hi,
Your chart is less straightforward,with combos in both the stems and branches(half-combination).
For the last 4 years,is your relationship with him more of one based on some fun,common interests than seriously wanting him to be your husband?

Oh, this shows what a beginner I am...I thought my chart was more balanced!

First of all, thank you for taking the time to look at it. I appreciate it.

To answer your question, yes I am serious with him. But others (and maybe him) may feel I am not. The past 4 years have been me juggling studies and work. The relationship is indeed fun and we have common interests. But he has asked my thoughts on marriage twice in 4 years, and I have delayed my responses because I have been busy with study and work.

I see this as justification because I'm not a good multitasker and I am a very focused person. I cannot focus on too many things at once. Others (close friends, my family) have thought that this is my excuse. I am sure both arguments have their truth.

However, throughout the years whenever I think of my future, I do see him as my husband and father to our children. He has always been present in my thoughts of the future. And since my studies have recently finished and I tendered my resignation this month, I'd like to be a better partner to him. I'm taking the rest of the year off to concentrate on him and our relationship before I jump into another career. So I would like to understand our situation better in order to work on it. Maybe take this 3 months to learn more on FS and BZ as well.

Thoughts?

Looks like if you wish to wed earlier,an older man who is wealthier than you would be better.If he's older but less rich than you,than the marriage may not be that stable.However,if your spouse is at first relatively poor(also subjective)and becomes richer after marriage,your matrimony will tend to be more stable.
If you wish to marry much later,the marriage may be less stable,for some personal pursuits may crop up after marriage that tend to take away time and energy from your husband.This could be further studies,or wanting to pick up certain skills which interest you.
But ultimately,the choice is deeply personal.Follow your heart.Don't let a bazi-reading decide something as momentous as settling down in your life.

Your partner's DM(yang fire)can use some support.Both wood and fire favour him,as he was born in winter and his DM 's not that robust.Not very advisable for him to live near big bodies of water.His branches(year,month,day)in his original chart tend to combine to form water,which may weaken his fire.Supportive colours are dark greens and bright reds.Lush,natural greenery is good too(wood>fire),especially if he feels stressed by work.Visit parks more often with him.
Present luck phase(around 31 to 35)is strong wood(yang wood)which is favourable to him.Could get hitched during this period.After around 41,his luck will be better(strong fire),until about 65.Not bad at all.
Wealth(metal)does not look that strong,though.A regular 9-to-5 job may not be as good as an "irregular" one,in terms of income.

Di_Tien_Sui wrote:


Therefore I'm lucky. He is older and definitely wealthier than me before I met him, seeing I was a student back then. Haha. And for the 'future' part, I'm sure he'd become richer. And as you say, the matter is subjective.



I cannot agree more. I do have plans for the future with 'studies and skills', so I shall take this into consideration. I guess the way to go is to face that truth, discuss it with him so he knows what he is getting into...



This one is the most important fact for me, so thank you so much for pointing it out. I rented a beachside apartment for the weekend as I thought he needed rest, and beach is a good rest. Now I know it is a good rest for me but not necessarily for him! We live in a beachy town, therefore I will take your advice on going to parks instead.



He works in construction as a contractor, so it is not a regular job per se. The industry is cyclical and also dependent on the weather. Because he is a good saver and have worked for more than a decade now, he has amassed quite a lot for himself, so while he is not always in possession of regular income, he always have money.

Di Tien Sui, I cannot thank you enough for taking the time and bringing this to light. Since this is my last month at my job and being the person that cannot sit still without a project, your guidance here have made me decide to use my holiday to learn Ba Zi. I wish I knew where to start...maybe look around WOFS classes...

Thank you so, so much again.