As a mother and a wife, my heart goes out to those who write in to ask advice on what to do when a marriage goes sour. Words cannot adequately describe the helpless pain couples endure when they feel they can no longer carry on as husband and wife. The situation becomes complicated when there are children involved. Love that was once upon a time their source of bliss and joy has transformed into feelings of hurt and unhappiness. How did this happen and can feng shui help?
From what we have observed over many years, it seems feng shui does affect the state of marriages and domestic harmony.
The sector of the house that most affects the quality of relationships within a marriage is the SOUTHWEST. The Southwest governs marriage and happiness. If you are married or wish to find a husband/wife, you must safeguard the Southwest which is ruled by the Trigram KUN. This represents the ultimate MOTHER energy that nurtures family and builds happiness in the HOME. When this is afflicted, for instance if a bathroom is located there, matriarchal energy weakens causing the bonds of marriage and family to degenerate. When it is missing, the foundation of mother energy is totally non-existent and marriage gets into serious trouble or breaks down altogether.
I want to share a couple of true stories of how the SOUTHWEST corner made a real difference to the marriages of real people. They are my personal friends so I have changed their names to protect their privacy.
BEWARE the AFFLICTED SOUTHWEST!
Here is a true story of a couple I know and how an afflicted Southwest affected their lives.
Carol and John were the first couple in their social group to marry. He was besotted with her from their first date, and they married after 3 years of romantic courtship. When I met them they had been been married for 8 years. They had two lovely children together. Three years ago, John left his cellphone at home and it beeped. Carol picked it up and realised it was a text message from a young girl in John’s recreational sports class. Out of curiosity she read the message. To her disgust and horror, she realised that John was cheating on her. When John came home that evening, she confronted him. He confessed everything and moved out of the house the next morning.
When I first met them eight years ago, it became quite obvious that their marriage was already going through a rough patch. Carol asked me to evaluate the feng shui of her house and I agreed. The first thing that came to my attention was that her SOUTHWEST was occupied by a bathroom. Not only that, their bed was directly facing a closet which had floor-to-ceiling sliding door mirrors. I advised Carol to remove the mirrors immediately as this would cause a third party to enter into their marriage. I also recommended that she renovate the house and move the bathroom elsewhere. This of course was quite difficult for Carol. While she appreciated my advice she did not take it seriously enough to carry out any of my suggestions.
Perhaps I should have insisted then, but it is now too late. After trying for a year to get their marriage back on track, John cheated on her again. Carol and John are divorced. John has found a new woman to marry and Carol is still single.
THE SOUTHWEST GOVERNS MARITAL PROSPECTS
The Southwest not only governs marital happiness, it also determines marital prospects. Here is another true story of how my beautiful single friend found love after saving her SOUTHWEST corner.
I met Lucy at work and at that time, she was turning 30. She was so sweet, so beautiful and charmingly intelligent and yet, so unbelievably SINGLE. When I asked why, she explained that she could never meet the right guy. Men who dated her for months would suddenly leave her life as soon as she invited them back into her house. So we checked her feng shui and lo and behold - her SOUTHWEST was her bathroom! Lucy took my advice seriously. She sold her home and moved. She found a new house with good feng shui and a safe Southwest corner, and moved in within the month! As soon as she moved in, Lucy suddenly became very popular with men. While attending a wedding, she met James. They fell in love instantly and married each other after living together for a year. Today, James and Lucy have two beautiful children.
They were both so happy and things were looking up! Lucy’s house had excellent feng shui and they lived there until their first child was born. A year later, Lucy and James decided to upgrade into a larger house; his business was going well and money was pouring in. This time, Lucy had completely forgotten about feng shui and moved straight into this big new house that had been abandoned and unsold for 8 months!
When they invited me over for their house warming, I was quite sad to discover that the Southwest of their home was their en-suite bathroom. Not only that, the head of their bed shared the same wall with the en-suite bathroom and their living room was missing the Southwest corner. I advised Lucy to remedy this with renovation as soon as possible, but this fell on deaf ears. Two years and a second child later, Lucy and James are headed for the divorce courts. James wants out of the marriage. They are selling their big house, and James is suing for custody of their children.
So what do you do when your marriage is in trouble?
Sometimes it can be too late. However, for those who are lucky enough to do something early, there is good news. Here is a heart-melting tale of how two of my good friends got back together after injecting a hearty dose of good feng shui into their marriage.
Jenny is successful, fun-loving working mum, married to Rob who runs his own contracting business. They’ve been together for 20 years, and have two children. Money comes easily and to the outside world, their life is picture-perfect. But last year, Rob woke up one morning and told Jenny that he didn’t love her anymore, and confessed that he nearly had an affair! Jenny was in complete shock! She knew they had their differences and had fought quite a bit over the past year but she never thought he would seriously consider splitting! She demanded to know if he was cheating on her. Rob vehemently denied it and reiterated that he just didn’t want to be married to her anymore! Jenny was at a loss at what had happened to their marriage. So she called me immediately for help!
When Jenny told me, I was just as surprised! By that time, Rob had already moved out temporarily and she was getting desperate. We checked her feng shui to see what’s changed. Her Southwest corner did not have a bathroom, but last year, the loss-causing Number 5 star had flown into the SOUTHWEST! The Quarrelsome Number 3 star had flown into their bedroom, triggering quarrels and bickering! Not only that, we noticed that none of her family photos in her home or in Facebook featured Rob in them. Her tiny little wedding photo on her sideboard had gathered a layer of dust and it would seem as though Rob had faded away from her family life altogether. So I suggested…
a) Placing an Amethyst Geode under the Bed
This is a Taoist feng shui remedy which requires the woman to obtain a raw Amethyst Geode, and tie it to the foot of the bed with red string. It should be placed under the WOMAN’s side of the bed. The Woman should always SLEEP on the right hand side of her husband, so the crystal should be placed under the Right side of the bed. This strengthens the Matriarchal energy of the Mother and Wife of the household.
b) Displaying A LARGE HAPPY Family Photo
Rob had already moved into their holiday house, so I advised her to blow up a LARGE HAPPY family photo with all their smiling faces, and display it prominently in both their holiday house as well as their city home. She did exactly this and made sure that it was hung in the Southwest of her dining room of her holiday house – where Rob could see it every day. She replaced all her Facebook profile photos and put up photos of their happy days together.
c) Praying to TARA for Help
Whenever you are in any trouble at all or feel any great fear, chanting TARA’s mantra with faith will always bring helpful solutions. Jenny’s fear of losing her husband and her perfect family life was causing her to slip into depression. I offered her Tara’s simple 10 syllable mantra and suggested she chant “OM TARE TUTTARE TURE SOHA” 108 times a day. Jenny chanted TARA’s Mantra daily and wrote to me saying that felt a renewed sense of hope and fearlessness, and realised that no matter what happens she could get through it.
d) The Power of the LOVE and REGRET
Whenever Jenny and Rob attempted to resolve their differences by talking, it would always begin with the best of intentions and end up with a big quarrel. She wanted so badly to tell him how much she loved him, but she could never give voice to it when they spoke. I suggested that perhaps writing a letter would work better but asked her to make sure there was nothing negative in it and it must only contain pure love. So she did! Jenny wrote Rob a powerful love letter, telling him 10 things she loved about him and her marriage. As she wrote it all down, she realised how much they had hurt each other over the years - and regretted all the hurtful actions and things she had said. She made a heartfelt wish for forgiveness and forgave him for everything – and wished with all her heart that he would return and be happy again. This was truly a powerful form of purification - by regretting all her own actions, she purified all the negativity that was caused by her in the marriage. And through her offer of pure love and forgiveness, she could overcome obstacles of their marriage and create the cause for their happiness to resurface.
Like magic, Rob returned home two weeks later. Rob was so touched by her letter that he cried after he read it. He regretted all the negative things he had said and felt happy to be home with his loving family. Jenny wrote to me three weeks later to tell me that they were back together and making holiday and future plans like a family again. It was like as though it was all a bad dream.
The following article is taken from the "Feng Shui World ( May/June 2011)". To subscribe, please click here.