Tuesday, 17th June 2008
I HOPE you can advise me on my relationship with my children.
My ex-wife and I divorced amicably four years ago. I agreed to give her custody of our three kids and a generous maintenance fee to raise our children in Singapore while I worked in my hometown, Cambodia as I could not find employment in Singapore.
In February 2007, my ex-wife passed away from breast cancer. I tried to seek custody of my children through legal means but my ex-in-laws have withheld my children’s passports. Then, they started to negatively influence my eldest daughter (Dog, 14 years old now). My daughter and I had a fight, and in Sept 2007, she left my house to stay with her relatives.
She has become very selfish, bullies her younger sister and never even calls to chat with her younger sister and her younger brother. I wrote her an email saying she should not take for granted things that I gave her and should not bite the hand that fed her since birth. In an act of anger, I simply wrote I would break her bone for behaving so badly with her siblings and for not showing enough respect for me, the father.
Subsequently, the relatives used that to my disadvantage in court. The courts ruled a joint-custody, but the relatives tried to take away my two youngest children. My youngest son refused, preferring to stay in my Singapore home with his nanny, who has looked after him since he was a baby. The court is giving me time to mend ties with my eldest daughter, but she still refuses to see me, and even influences her younger sister to not see me. The relatives are not helping much either in this respect.
I’m having a stressful year, coping with work and trying to be a father. I return home to Singapore every month for a week to be with my children but end up being unable to spend time with them since they are now staying ‘with the relatives.
What is in my charts for 2008 now that I am in such a pitiful state despite all the sacrifices I made? I am very concerned that the relatives' bad influence will cause a further rift between my daughters and me. I would appreciate if you could give me a remedy.
I am so sorry that you are going through such a traumatic experience with your children, especially with your eldest daughter. It is really difficult for me to say if there is anything about your feng shui that is causing this situation, but perhaps you might wish to check if your SE corner is missing or afflicted in any way. The SE corner of any house stands for the eldest daughter and this is directly opposite the NW, which is the position that corresponds to the Patriarch. So it is useful check your house to see if the SE/NW direction is in any way being influenced by physical structures in the environment that act as poison arrows. Also it is good to check if the SE direction was afflicted by the three-quarrelsome star in the year when things got bad for you in terms of your relationship with your daughter.
In the meanwhile, perhaps a word of warning here might be timely. I somehow do not think it is your ex-in-laws who are giving you a hard time. Just think - they have lost their daughter (your ex-wife), to cancer and this is really a very traumatic loss to have to come to terms with. Your daughter probably took the loss of her mother really hard. Perhaps she is rough and righteous with her younger siblings due to stress and unhappiness over her own sense of loss... so try to be a little more understanding.
I READ the 18 omens of good fortune on your website, and am very curious on section regarding "When your date of birth adds up to 8".
I'm a wood snake, born in 1965. Based on numerology calculations, my number adds up to a 88. My kua number is also 8. Do I have a very good luck in stored for me? Right now, I am still searching for that luck.
I have your book on fortune & feng shui 2008 snake. I have bought some your suggested amulets to enhance my luck like the Dzi 9 and the mystic knot in jade. I have threaded the jade with my 'secret friend', the monkey, also in jade.
Right now, I don’t have my own house or apartment. I’m just living in a house as bed space rental and in that house, the main door is facing in Southwest direction.
What advice can you give me to enhance my luck?
Thank you very much!
Eduardo U. Saguing
According to Numerology, when the date of birth adds up to 8, it is auspicious for this period of 8. Just as when your kua number is 8, it is also very auspicious. Your date of birth adds up to 16 which adds up to 7 and not 8, but yes your kua is 8 if you are male. The rules governing the interpretation of Numerology and the Kua formula of directions are different so we should not read them together. It is like mixing apples with oranges. The method I use is the Tao method of reading the meaning of numbers and this says that 7 is a lucky number for you. The Chinese Astro Sciences have many ways of interpreting numbers and much of this is also tied up with elements and animal signs.
By wearing the 9-eyed it should bring you good fortune, not only this year but also in 2009. The jade knot is excellent for the coming year. Also, as you are living in a SW facing house, it should benefit you in the current period of 8 - so there, Eduardo, you’re all set!
Good things are ahead for you....
More from "Ask Lillian" :
- A Father's Lament, Career Advice and Hell's Gate
- Financial Trouble and What To Do When Your Toilet's In Your Career Section
- Improving your property luck
- Securing wealth, career and exam luck
- Temporary and karmic ‘seperations’
- Opening the ‘door’ to happiness
- Luck: the good and the bad
- Ensuring your family’s good luck in 2008
- Hopping good year for Rabbits
- Incorporating feng shui practices into your life
- Best time for home renovation works
- Enhancing career and marriage
- Ensuring your unborn child’s gender
- Dealing with a wayward child
- When debtors give you the run-around
- When cracks appear in a relationship
- Ask Lillian Too ( Issue No. 25 )
- When everything falls apart
- On clock collections and compatible homes
- On compatible companions
- Look for those auspicious signs
- Get the best out of crystal placement
- On negative expressions and Poison Arrows
- On ‘afflictions’ and the hazard of clocks
- On money problems and marital strife
- On Dzi beads and study luck
- On activating luck
- It's a Jungle out there
- Directional guidance
- Welcoming ‘8’ into your home
- On work environments and ‘poison arrows’
- On romance and residential layouts
- On marriage and misunderstandings
- On romance and residences
- On Money and Matrimony
- Good luck charms
- Avert arguments
- Luck of the draw
- Woes no more